Watch those addictive cravings
Research has finally established what most of us already know: love hurts. Pining over the loss of a romantic relationship is associated with addiction cravings, motivation and reward, new research says. But if we’re wired to feel so badly, how can we avoid the comfort of spooning into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or hiding in bed for days at a time to nurse a broken heart?
Literally addicted to love
Are we addicted to love, even with the risk and pain of rejection that it brings? New research says yes, it’s a natural part of life. The study, conducted by the Rutgers University Departments of Neurology and Neuroscience at the Einstein College of Medicine and published in the July 2010 issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, recorded the brain activity of 10 female and five male university-aged people who were dumped by their significant others, but claimed to be still very much in love with the ones who dumped them.
The study group had all dated their partners for about two years and had split up with them during the previous two months.
The team used MRIs to scan the brain activity of the subjects to establish common patterns among the group. It turns out that the test group experienced increased brain activity that tends to be associated with addiction – cravings, motivation and reward.
Relationships, emotions and the brain
Most of us find ourselves, at one stage or other, on that big wheel of love. Whether we’re feeling initial infatuation, full-blown love or, sigh, in the process of breaking up, we run the gambit of emotions. While we come to grips with those emotions during our relationships, do we really know what our brains are going through?
“Romantic love, under both happy and unhappy circumstances, may be a natural addiction,” Lucy Brown, Ph.D., clinical professor and co-author of the study, said in a news release about the findings.
Might as well face it – we’re addicted to love
As part of the study, the subjects were shown photos of their former partners and their brain activity was noted.
The researchers detected activity in the regions of the brain that also tied in to cigarette and cocaine addiction. This activity was also significantly higher in the group who had parted ways with their partners than the “happily-in-love individuals” used as a control group.
It was seeing the image of their partners’ faces that caused the reaction. The brain’s response to the pictures was increased stimulation in parts of the brain. In brain geography, these are the regions that are involved when we experience cravings, along with that sense of satisfaction when we fulfill them.
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So, why does it hurt so much to break up?
Break ups give love a bad name. For the brain, it comes down to survival. Contrary to conventional wisdom, the brain is the organ that leads us to our mates. The prime drive behind out motivation is, in many ways, so much neurological activity setting our decision-making process in motion. That means we are hardwired to seek out the right mates for us from all the people we come across.
In the same way, when we are rejected, it seems that our brain gets us fired up to get them back. The painful longing is what motivates us to go out there and win that mate back. Whether or not this is always the right thing to do is another matter.
“Our findings suggest that the pain of romantic rejection may be a necessary part of life that nature built into our anatomy and physiology. A natural recovery, to pair up with someone else, is in our physiology, too,” noted Professor Brown.
Un-breaking your heart: A matter of perspective
Whether we accept the break ups in our lives or whether we go out and fight for that mate, it seems that a big part of the break up is perspective. Though as painful as these times may be, taking stock of things that made you happy in the relationship and what may not have been so healthy can help you to grow. Bouncing your thoughts about the relationship off of friends and family is always a good way to go.
And remember, you’re also fighting a brain that is sending out heightened craving signals, so head to the gym to burn off the stress instead of turning to that pint of extra rich fudge-swirled chocolate ice cream.
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Chocolate chip cookie dough, nuts, marshmallows – they’re all our favorite food groups. And if you put them together and bake them in a pizza pan, you just may have the perfect dessert to celebrate a break up.
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